EN - The masquerade of charity b.
You can have a man who gets into a thirty-day retreat and comes out all aflame with the love of Christ, and without the slightest bit of self-awareness. None. He could be one big pain. Well, I'm glad to see you fill in the blanks. And quite unaware of it. He thinks he's a great saint. Without meaning to slander old Francis Xavier, who probably was a great saint, he was a difficult man to live with, you know, and he was a lousy superior, he really was! Want to do a historical investigation? Ignatius always having to step in to undo the harm that this good man was doing in his intolerance. You need to be pretty intolerant to achieve that kind of feet. Go, go, go, go go-no matter how many corpses fall by the wayside. And some critics of Francis Xavier claim exactly that. He was dismissing men from our Society quite likely, they'd appeal to save Ignatius, who would say, "Come on to Rome and we'll talk about it." surreptitiously got them in again. How much self-awareness was there. Who are we to judge, we don't know. I'm only talking about the possibility… Yes. "Are you saying there's no such thing as pure motivation?" I'm saying that ordinarily everything we do is in our self-interest. Everything. "When you do something for the love of Christ, is that selfishness?" You're doing something for the love of anybody, in your self-interest. Oh, we'll have to explain that. Tell me something you did or someone could do for the love of Christ. I live in Phoenix and we feed over five hundred children a day. Does that give you a good feeling? "Does it give me a good feeling? It gives me a good feeling." I'm so happy to hear that, I really am, I'll tell you why. "Well, would you expect it to give you a bad feeling?" Yes sometimes it does. And that's the worst kind of charity. "Why? Why would it give me a bad feeling?" And that is because there are some people and thank God you're not in that number who do things so that they won't have have a bad feeling. And they call that charity. They're guilty. That isn't love. Now, thank God, you're doing things for people and it's pleasurable. Wonderful! You're a healthy individual.(…..) Do you think everything we say we practice? Let me summarize what I was saying about what we call selfless charity. I said there were two types of selfishness; maybe I should have said three. First, when I do something, or rather, when I give myself the pleasure of pleasing me; second, when I give myself the pleasure of pleasing others. Don't take pride in that now. Don't think you're a great guy. You're a very ordinary guy, but you've got refined taste. Your taste is good, not the quality of your spirituality, you're anything of that sort. You know, when you were a kid, you liked Coca-Cola; now you've grown older and you appreciate chilled beer on a hot day. You've got better taste. When you were a kid, you loved chocolates; now you're older, you enjoy a symphony, you enjoy a poem. Aha, you've got better tastes. But you're getting your pleasure all the same, all right? And then you've got the third type, which is the worst: when you do something so that you won't get a bad feeling. It doesn't give you a good feeling to do it; gives you a bad feeling to do it. You hate it. You're making sacrifices, you're grumbling, you're complaining. You think we don't do things that give us a bad feeling? Ha! How little you know of yourself if you think that you don't do things… If I had a dollar for every time I did things that gave me a bad feeling, I'd be a millionaire by now. You know, "Could I meet you tonight, Father?" "Yes, come on in!" I don't wanna meet him. I hate meeting him. I want to watch that TV show tonight, but how do I say no to him? I haven't got the guts to say no. "Come on in," and I'm thinking, "Oh God, I've got to put up with this pain tonight." It doesn't give me a good feeling. It doesn't give me a good feeling to meet him, it doesn't give me a good feeling to say no to him, so I choose the lesser of the two evils and I say, "O.K., come on in."Say, how are you? As somebody said, boy, I'm going to be happy when this thing gets over so I'll be able to take my smile off, "How are you?" "Wonderful," and so he goes on and on and on he says you know I love that workshop of yours, and I'm thinking, "Oh God, when is he going to come to the point?" And finally he comes to the point, and I indirectly slam him against the wall I say, "Well, any fool could solve that kind of thing, you know," and I send him out. "Whew! Got rid of him," the next morning at breakfast he says you know I'm guilty already I was a bit rude and I go up to him and say, "How's life? how's life?" He says, "Pretty good. You know, what you said did help me last night. Can I meet you today, after lunch?" Oh God! Yeah, come on in! Oh, God. Any priest who hasn't done this. I'm going to (…) .well, you'll have to wait till I become Pope which I hoping to be someday, I really am. That's the worst kind of charity, when you're doing things so you won't get a bad feeling. You're guilty. You've got no guts. You don't have the guts to say: No! I want to be left alone. Sorry. What the hell of a priest are you? Come on in! See the selfishness? I want him to think I'm a good priest "I don't like hurting people," Get off it! I don't believe you. I don't believe anyone who says that he or she does not like hurting people. We love to hurt people, especially some people. We love it. And when somebody else is doing the hurting we rejoice. But we don't want to do the hurting because we'll get hurt! Ah, there it is. You will have a bad opinion of me, you won't like me, you'll talk against me I don't like that so I don't want to hurt you. My, that's a large dose of truth for one morning. All right, I'll tell you what, I'm gonna give you a 15 minute break where you can loiter around and then we'll come back. I have one favor, I'll be sitting in that corner out there, would you please leave me alone? Ahahahahah